Rest in Peace

I remember how you rang the call bell just to make me sit down to listen at your stories and your pass when you are lonely with no relatives around.

You made my day. You make me smile and laugh.

Changing your diapers when I was incharge of you seems like a must for me. But no complaints have I made because I got a chance to have some private moment to hear you telling me how worried that you may go anytime.

When you hold my hand and tell me I did a awesome job, it was like a rainbow in a very rainny day. With so much work and stress you made my day wonderful as I cannot imagine.

I remember how you came into the ward with the very unhappy face. But with a smile and sincere heart from all of us. You changed into a very open person and funny person.

Now there will be no more sorrows and pain as you have drifted through the valley of death and sickness. May you rest in peace. You sincere thank you and smile will never be forgotten. You have gave me the courage and passion to make another person's day beautiful no matter facing life and death.

Rest in peace my friend.

Dedicate to Mat Rais. (4th Nov 2012)

My Source of Attitude

This is about the story of how I learned the most valuable lesson in life throughout this 22 years on living.

People who know me personally knows that am somehow different. Am soft compared to the others. From young I was being picked by the seniors as the target to picked on as I was one of the timid and skinny boy when I was in junior school. Some more with soft attitude. What more to say, it is a great target of being picked on. Due to that am rather low in self esteem. Never dared to take up any bigger challenges in life. I always think that the world is against me. I remembered once, one of my classmate handed me a penknife telling me to end my pathetic miserable life. That is how I grew up in. Giving up life seems to be the easiest way out at that moment. But I was too timid to do it.

From young. I was known to be very talkative. Keeps talking non-stop. Especially with a few girls sitting around me in class. We did a lot of silly things. I remembered we drew comics of the PowerPuff Girls. That the best memories that I have in my Junior  School. Other than that I can say that I have no any sweet memories in my Junior school. All I can remember is all the bullying, teasing and all the nicknames that has been given. 

As I graduated from my Junior School. I was rather excited. Thinking that I can finally leave this dreadful place. But I was wrong, history repeated itself. Of course no more drawing comics. I told myself one day I will change who I am. Instead of being bullied but the other way round. I started by finding ways to get close to all the teachers in High School. Of course it worked out though. Am well know in that High School even until today. If you mentioned my name in that particular school, I dare to say mostly the teachers recognize me. At that moment I thought things will change. But it did not.

I'm always a soft hearted person. Bearing grudges is not my nature. Being hot tempered for a long period too was not me. I tend to lend helping hands to those who even bullied me in high school even knowing I may get bullied by them again anytime. I dared to say, I was very frustrated because I cannot achieve what I wanted to be. So I sorted ways out to escape including committing suicide .

Heaven always has a way to comfort his children. He put mother nature as my neighbor to lend a helping hand. Often with all the frustration I ran into her arms to let it all out. I can sit by the lake for hours sobbing  and telling away all my grieves and frustrations into the air .In the same time of comforting me, she too taught me some valuable lessons that not everyone can have.

Sometime sitting alone by the lake you can see animals coming out from the bushes to refresh themselves by the lake. Deer, wild boars, monkeys and etc. Some you even have the chance to touch it. At the beginning it was hard to reach out your hands to touch something that not much people had done before except in the zoo. You need guts. As time goes by, I learned how to be brave and pursing gentleness in the process. Too rough they may retreat or take you as a treat and started attacking. In the same time, I too learned how to be patient. Sitting by the lake, waiting for hours to get a glimpse of some monitor lizard coming out from the wasteland to scavenge for left over around the area. I learned patience while in the process of waiting. The foremost lesson that I learned from mother nature is never judge from the toads. They are really ugly creatures. When I was a kid. I did many hurting things to them, I remembered after a fight with my mom I was so angry till the extend of making a toad swallowing pebbles. Now I really felt sorry for it. The pebbles was in its tummy for days before it died. It still hide under it’s favorite spot until the event of its death. That time, I thought they are just pest loitering around the housing at night making all sorts of noisy commotion at night after the rain has gone by. I regard them as pests with no benefits. Until one day, I learned that they are actually the one responsible for clearing blood sucking bastards around the areas providing me a good night sleep with less mosquitoes bite. I really regretted for doing so at that point of time. But it doesn’t change the fact of they are ugly but without them, I will be sucked dry by those vampire at night. Because of that, they are beautiful in their own way.

After all these, it makes my life more interesting. I am not afraid anymore. They are just your neighbor which accidentally came into the wrong place. Handle them with care and respect. 

In the same time, if not for mother nature’s valuable lesson, I don’t think I can possibly be a nurse. Patient praise my gentleness and kindness  *not to show off though*. But deep down  know. I was not a person like that if all these never came to pass. All thanks to my mother who taught me what gentleness is all about and to overcome my fear of things am not familiar with. 

Today my old friend visited me in my hostel. Causing a lot of commotion. Imagining all the boys are yelling just it came into the house. How foolish and shameful  is that?! They are not going to cause any harm. Thanks them you won’t have sleepless night because of those blood sucking bastards flying around in your room! Stop screaming like a bitch when you saw a cockroach in your room!

“ In case you are reading this. Stop bitching about it. You have a big mouth but a small dick. Stop yelling when some animals came into the house. It is not a tiger! It’s just a toad! “

There is Always Miracle.

Recently things are going quite bad for this couple of weeks. Shit happens as it always does. Too many heartache and headache.

Anyway, not everything had gone so bad till the extend of not having a fruitful and productive life.

Recently there's a patient in the female ward. We called her Bed 8. She had a traumatic brain injury. We had been paralyze from head o toe. No so speech nor movement for the past few months. She too had a craniotomy done on her left parietal skull. She suffered a serious intra-cranium hemorrhage (Lament term: Internal- skull bleeding).

I was placed in that ward practically. Not directly to take care of her. As a nurse you tend to be very busy body. So am too kepo to check her out while my friend is preforming her daily ADL. I got to say, my friend did a great job for keeping her clean.

After reading her profile. I took pity on her. So I went towards her and tried talking to her. Which is kinda silly you may think especially when you talk to someone who can't even reply your conversation. I believe God did left me a good start for her healing process.

After 2 days, we changed our patient in-charge. I volunteered to take care of her. We did pedicure and manicured on her. Now she is really spotless. While doing the procedure, songs of worship came into my mind. So I started singing softly by her bedside. I prayed silently hoping that God will heal her no matter what is her condition and how severe it is. Before I finished the procedure after 5 hours, I put up all my courage and ask her does she wanted a prayer. If she don't want, she can just ignore while am praying for her. If she wants, she can follow me in her spirit. So I prayed.

This goes on, praying for her and singing to her when am free for one week plus. One day....


While feeding....

Her arms moved!!!!!

I was like... LITERALLY JUMPING OFF THE CHAIR..(due to my height I need to sit down to feed her through her PEG)

I was like OMG! She moved!


After informing almost everyone in the ward, I went back to her and ask her as if she wanted a prayer for accepting Christ in her. Yes, she is still mute....

On the last day in that ward. While we are cleaning the tracheotomy. With the gauze cover on the tracheotomy while cleaning. Honestly, it is a very uncomfortable procedure. Imagine something is stuck in your throat all the time and you can't seem to get it out. She mummured... NO.. in mandarin. We heard her. God, what a miracle you have done. Although I didn't get to see her get healed totally until today. But am still pretty sure something will happen to her. She will get heal! Amen to that.

You may say that: " It is probably the medication." Let me answer you this, she is not in any medication, she is kinda just left there for her time to come. No relatives so don't give me the crap of saying that someone gave her medications. Even if there is medication, why does it did not work as months goes by? Why now?! Why this?! If this in not a miracle then what is it?! Tell me!

In this testimony, God showed me how much He appreciated everyone of us. No matter when you are sick or healthy. Rich or poor. He loves and care for you. You saw the seed and God makes it grows. We human are limited living creatures. That's all. We don't have super powers unless you are in a game. LOL! Only God has the healing touch.

Please do help me continue pray for Bed 8 if you are reading this. A million thanks for those who are willing. May God himself bless you abundantly

Backstabbers

With almost 2 years I have shown patiences, forgiveness and trust in you. I sincerely thought you have changed to a better person. A person who I though you will have the understanding towards things and people who don't always go in your way.

But

I now realise

I was wrong.

You haven't changed abit. But you have gotten worst. All these while I though you only have a big mouth. But now I realise there is too much pride in you.

I trusted you. I shared almost everything that I learned in life to you. I don't hide a thing from you. Am transparent infront of you. Instead of getting an understand yet you created another laughing stock to the others.

Today, I, Aron Ang learnt a lesson. Never ever trust someone fully. Not even friends that you once called brother.

Trusting him is like giving your only dagger to him. Giving him an opportunity to stab you when you needed him the most or even kill you with it.

Am not asking for any attention and your apology here once again. I tried to warn you but now you seems to have so much pride in you till the extend of not being clear who you are meant to be. So now we have to depart in our own way.

If you are reading this. I just wanna say thank you for hurting someone's feeling so much till the extend I can learn how to let someone go. I seriously hope too for Judith. But am sure she loves you too much and she is not willing to let go. She is willing to let love and sacrifices blind her in order to make you love her. One day things will change am sure when kept taking things for granted and kept giving people shit to clean after.

So please give me back my dagger so I can give it to someone I can trust once more. It ends now!

p/s- I know now I sounded like a drama queen. But this post is for myself and I seriously think that being childish n weak once in awhile is nessary.

When Your Heart Remains True

Life as we know it has been cruel. Nonetheless, it is an enjoying journey of give and take. Full of sorrows and grieves. Not to mention there are still happiness and joy comes along this wonderful package.

People come and go. No one stay. Everyone is a visitor in this earth. We don't stay for good.* common sense* Everyone just have to die. But what never dies... Friendship, Love, Memories, Good and bad ones. 

I was working in HDU * Hemodialysis Unit* last 2 weeks ago. It was really boring. Not much procedure to do. So, me and my other course mate started this brilliant and fun idea of observing people. 

Until

This old couple came along.

They are holding hands as they came in. An old couple. Still so romantic

He opened the door for her as she walks in first. How often do you see this in an old couple life?!

He knows she is weak.

He took her blood pressure. Which is normally being taken by their own. We require them to do it their own. But he did it for her.

He set up the machine himself without any help from us?! 

Hello?! In case you don't notice, there are so many tubings and procedures that needed to be done before she can go on with the process of dialysis. 

Yet he knows what to do and how to do. Until the finishing touch.

He sat her down. Prepared her meal for her. He waited till the nurses start the procedure then he leaves home to do her house chores. 

Every time of when she need to do follow up he will book at cab for her which cost RM15 per trip. They don't own a car but a motorbike. He will put her in a cab and came with a motorbike on his own. Before the procedure ends, he will surely be there to make sure she enter the cab and then leaves home. 

This is what love really is. It is not about flowers, properties, cars, nor money. It is about being there in times of needs. Be with them , be there for them when he or she is sick.  Like this loving old couple. 

Am not a preacher about love. Am not a love guru. But this uncle surely deserves to be one. He had shown the true meaning of what love it. He action has touched us and am ready to share it to the whole world of his actions. He had shown us....

What true love is about. 

This Is It

Life brief candle. Human life burns like a candle. It will be out before you know it. In awhile you will realise you are standing outside your cold calmy body wondering what and where will your next destination takes place.

My patient was well and alive. He was admitted due to fever. After discharged, he was well and able to live a normal live once again.

Just after two weeks. His daughter called me. HE WAS GONE. IN A BETTER PLACE.

He did lived a meaningful and fruitful life. Raised 3 well grown sons n daughter. Am sure the time he left this earth, his legacy still lives on.

He is not just my patient but my friend. Although just barely know him for 3 days. His laughter and joy that he bears while on his bed is the biggest encouragement. His patience and his words of assurance to his children is the greatest legacy that will be shared one day. The gratefulness he shown for us makes us feel sweet while in this hectic and scenic job of ours.

Life is short. Treasure it. You will be gone before you even know it. Live life full with no regrets. Forget and forgive those who you called enemies.

Rest well my friend. Am sure you there are having a great moment now. Far away from this dreatful world with full of pain and sorrows. Someday we will meet in the other side.

A Weekend Well Spent

It has been two days.  But it feel like just a glimpse of an eye. Two days just pass so swiftly without even realising it.

What happened so far... it is not publicly shared.  But what can be shared is. I enjoyed myself. The road trip,  the pillow talk,  the teasing and all those which I thought I will no more have it in the days to come.

Even when you are so busy with your work while you are spending time with me.  Your effort of making a space for me is so much greately being treasure.  No matter talking to your elderly or giving you suggestion on your work. It has been a pleasure and my honour. 

It hard to find people pike this around me.  Sharing my joy and sorrows. Here I would like to take a chance to say....

THANK YOU AND I STILL LOVE YOU

One day in Sekinchan

Friday! The last of Community Health Nursing! The end of Mr and Mrs Idjit living next door. End of everything bad. End of the torture of not turning on my stereos for almost 2 weeks! Finally i get to say good bye to all of the nonsense that has been happening for this 2 weeks!

Okay, today am requested by my friend Zax to write in mandarin so he can understand better. Just once am going to write in Mandarin. So here goes...

又来到了周末。又是一个无所事事无聊的礼拜尾。所以答应了Zax回Sekinchan。一放工，立刻搭了最晚的那班车去了佛蓉。又搭了一个小时的轻快铁到了吉隆坡。总共花了快接近5个小时的车程。又在KL Central 花了差不多二十分钟找他。还没吃晚餐的我不会累死才假。

两个人就像盲头苍蝇在人海中飞来飞去。

吃晚晚后。就与他的陪同下回到了他的家-巴生

隔天差不多十点钟两人吃完早餐后就搭上了归家之路。

兜了，绕了，累了。就跑道网吧“休息”- 打电动！没想到--- 他输了！！开心死我！！*He says he wanna kill me tonight. Kinda worried actually.

玩完之后就跑道附近的餐厅上网。没想到既然来这里做工。唉。。可怜的上班族每天都被钱绑的紧紧。

咳~慢点就是我了

Come On?! Like Seriously?!

It's the 4th week since class has started and also the 3rd week of practicals. Everything seems to be heading to my way. Clinical Instructors are nice so does the staff nurses in the hospitals.

This is the freaking place which am talking about

This week we are moved from Jelebu to Bahau. Which both of them are still in Negeri Sembilan. I should say Bahau seems like a boring dead town to me. Population not more than 40k. People here are not as nice as Jelebu. People here seems to think more like "Urban-People". Mostly here are Chinese and malay which I saw.

Now do you get the picture when am saying villasge?!

The main reason why we * including my course mate of course* are shifted here because we need to fulfill our CHN *Community Health Nursing* crosses. First of all I would like to say. This District Clinic SUCKS to the max! Why?! BECAUSE THERE IS NO FOOD!! NO CANTEEN OR WHAT SO EVER! It is a freaking small clinic in the middle of no where! It is left stranded far from the main road for like 2.5 Kilometers! What more to say! IT IS FREAKING IN A FREAKING VILLAGE!  

And guess what?! it is in Jempol! Bandar Seri Jempol! God! Nilai UC you got to be kidding me! It is a totally different town!!

But what's best about here! Our Clinical Instructor she rocks!! *yeah, for the mean time because we just know her*. Hopefully this coming 2 weeks I better not be tortured by her or some kind. I don't know.

Anyway, hopefully things turns out fine for this coming 2 weeks! I don't wanna suffer! God! Freaking please just bring me out of this place! 2 weeks of patience which am asking for~

A Little Of "Rasa Sayang" from Jelebu

   

Jelebu Hospita

Am currently posted in Jelebu Hospital with another 13 July 10 students. 4 boys and 10 girls. We are being sent to a small and less populated hospital with less than a 100 beds including female, male and Pediatric ward. For us, it is the first time we are placed in a district hospital. Not much procedures to do due to all major case will be sent to Seremban. It is very boring since we are use to the busy-ness of a city hospital.

Klawang Township

Jelebu is located 1 hour from Seremban city center. You can take a 1 hour bus fromSeremban Terminal to this small town. The only transport service provider is City Liner. You will find yourself pack in a Sardin Can as soon you get on it. The first stop you will reached Klawang and the bus will stop at Titi. These both stops are in Jelebu itself.










Moving to a small hospital had been a great challenge for us. Especially moving into a small less populated town where even buying vegetables are indeed very troublesome. What more to say finding yourself a HotSpot where you can sit down and load your Facebook. You don't even need to mention about KFC and McD. People here will be laughing when you ask them where is the nearest fast-food store. *Seriously am craving for it* Imagine the finger licking good feeling.....




Okay, back to business.


What people always say:


A smile warmed up a person's day. Especially when it is from the heart.


Working here had been a great and difficult task for us especially when what you learn and practice, everything is in English. Imagine you are placed in a Kampung where people only speak Bahasa Melayu and Hakka. Of course there are still Chinese who can speak Mandarin. Our communication skills drop from "STIHS" to SHITS. But we are all still trying to cope with it.


Learning to speak more fluent and proper Bahasa Melayu takes time. Am sure by the time we learn how to communicate with them well, we had finished our practical.


So what can we do?!




Just

Sincere Smile from 3 races

Smile when you greet them




From a simple "Selamat Pagi Nek" -Translation: Morning Granny until "Nek Saya Jalan Dulu"-Translation: Granny, I leave first . A simple greeting or a simple good-bye, can always makes someone feels so much appreciated. What more to say when you greet them with a smile from a sincere heart. It holds the key to open up a person's heart.




"Insya-Allah adanya dik untuk jaga saya" -Translation: Praise Allah there is you to take care of me.




When this kind words born from a patient's lips, you know you had open their hearts and acceptance towards you. No matter you are Malay, Chinese or Indian. You had already gain their trust.




No matter how hard is it for us to communicate. Sitting down chit chatting with the patient had been one of our duties daily. Trying to get them to communicate with us had not been a hard task. 

The joy of Lunch Break

You should see them laughing without their dentures on. THEY ARE REALLY CUTE!!!!!.Unlike patients who are staying in town. They are always open towards conversation and procedures that are preformed. They never complaint and judge. They are able to give their 100 % trust on you. After preformed. Sometime they are still in pain*example-branula insertion*, they will still say thank you.


I personally feels that I am really blessed by this small town so much. People here are so awesome. Do you?! My fellow mate?! 

Undivided

Been so busy as 2012 started. Many things had came and left. Here I am now. Writing what is have I saw, what I had conquered, what had I failed and what had I learned. Time flies. Leaving hometown to Nilai had been two years ago seems like blinking an eye. One year more. One year. Give me one more year. So I can serve human race better.

This post based on my topic above is about what I felt in my heart. I hope people can understand why I chose this instead of the other. People may see things differently. Everyone has their own POV(Point of View).

Child care has been a booming industry since the 70's. Even nowadays government hospitals are recognize for their "Baby Friendly" hospitality. When I mention friendly means it is really friendly. Not the opposite*Just incase*. Well, am sure who are mothers out there are glad to know about this. You can see their motto on the wall of the hospital. Providing friendly service to the baby. That is a good thing.

Babies are cute, sweet and irresistible. They seriously are the most gorgeous "creature" in this human life cycle. They are naive and innocent. When a baby cries, you can see nurses rushing towards them to meet their needs. They will even make silly faces just to make the baby stop crying even they(Babies) are not even fully developed till that extend. Attention and care has been given. All eyes are on them.

But....

What about the old people?! Are they as cute as the babies? As adorable as them?

Am sure you all know the answers from your heart.

Why are they being left out? People always says Old as Gold. Really? Then why are they neglected? Why are there still nurses left them unattended? What's even worst. Yelling at them telling them to shut up. Yelling at them when they can't follow your instruction. This is a very common scene in Malaysia. Student nurse. When they are required to clean up and old sick patient's mess, where are you? You are suppose to provide undivided attention to them. They are often the ones who have been left out. What's even worst. Some patients are left there with their poops in their pants for 1 or 2 days. Imagine that old person is you. How would you feel?

Sons and daughters. Never even think that it is our job to take care of your parents when they are old and sick. They are apart of you. Where you came from. Be grateful. Do visit them once in awhile. Working is hectic. We all know. But please do spend sometime with them. They are not going to be long in this world. Treasure them. Love them. Am sure you will miss them someday if you are still human. They are the ones who raise you up and yet this is how you repay them by putting them in the hospital for weeks?

Old folks are adorable people too. They too have emotions and feeling. Some old people who have Alzheimer they tend to act like a kid. Some even may forget your name. Will you still keep the promise that you made when you are still a kid to take care of them when they are old? Now is the time to fulfilled that vow that you had made. One day your turn will come and you will lie on white pale bed. begging for you children's attention. If you are never a good example, how can you expect them to not be the same like you?Think about it.

What Goes Around Comes Around.

Next time when you visit a hospital or an old folks home. Please do give them a smile or a hug. Am sure from the bottom of their hearts, they know that there are people who still cares for them. Talk to them. Keep them companied. Although they tends to be naggy sometime. Give them attention like how you give to your young ones.

Start making a difference today. You may never know~